Job Search Postponed For Bear Hunt

Brian Malloy has reluctantly stopped searching for a job to assist the townsfolk in capturing a renegade grizzly bear. Koolie The Bear escaped the Twin Cherries Circus Thursday night after a nine pm performance. According to Benjamin Fountleroy, Koolie’s handler, the nine-foot animal was “aggravated” by some teenagers fighting their shadows on the back wall of the tent. “Koolie seemed very disturbed by such small creatures having so much courage against such large creatures. And really, who can blame him, what kind of moron picks on his own shadow?”

Brian says, that this bear hunt couldn’t have come at a better time, “thank g-d bears are so dumb and vicious, I was getting a bit fed up with all the resume formats.” Brian does not totally agree with the mob’s vision however, which is to find the bear and then beat it ‘like it was our own useless good-for-nothing shadows.’