Real Diplomacy: Real Madrid Beats Palestinian-Israeli Team 8-0

Real Madrid walloped the hodgepodge group of feuding nationalities while trying to show solidarity towards the peace process. Manchester United was asked first to play in this historic match, but the England based soccer club is in favor of religious hatred so it politely declined. “Peace is the number two priority of Real Madrid, right between ticket and jersey sales, so we jumped at the chance to end fighting along the Gaza Strip,” mumbled Real Madrid Water-boy Chalolo Guiterrez.

“As I’m sure Chalolo already told you, our team is real into peace, so before the game we all decided to go easy on the Palestinian-Israeli team, and even let them get the first goal. We knew that if they won, or even made it respectable, the peace process could recover at least to where it was before Rabin’s death,” Screamed Real Madrid Captain Jose Martinez Enscado.

Once action ensued, however, Captain Enscado and his teammates could not help destroying the goodwill team of players from different religious backgrounds, scoring 5 goals in the first 13 minutes. The only reason the game was as close as it was is that Chalolo put amoebas in the water, trying to rally the team with greater difference in its conception of g-d. Unfortunately for the Palestinian-Israeli team, Real Madrid guessed at Chalolo’s treachery and was able to install a BioSand Water Filter before all its players fell ill.

“If only we weren’t so damn good at soccer, we really could have done something worthwhile in that game,” spoke a tear-laden Enscado. Adding, “Bahala na.”